The Bell Curve and River Analogy

Two ways to picture activation

The first picture in this course was a bell curve with a thermometer, a scale from one to ten that shows how activated you are. It is useful for noticing and naming where you are.

A second picture adds a layer. Imagine a river with banks on each side. The water is the activation, which is energy moving through your system. The banks are your capacity to hold that energy. When the water stays within the banks, you can feel strong emotion and still think clearly, stay present, and listen. When it spills over, you may be pulled into fight or flight and into black-and-white thinking.

Managing versus holding

It can be tempting to look at a six on the thermometer and think, "I need to get this lower." That stance of going directly at the activation to reduce it can actually make it harder to settle. Resisting a feeling often adds to it.

The river picture suggests a different approach. Instead of lowering the water, we raise the banks. The practices in this course can be seen this way. They may not change how much activation arrives, but they can change how much you are able to hold. An event that would normally push you to an eight might, with higher banks, register as a three or four.

Examples of higher banks

Life brings situations that activate nearly everyone: a visit from a relative, a difficult conversation at work, a health issue, a family disagreement about belief. With higher banks, the activation can be present without taking over. You can still think, choose your words, and act from wisdom rather than reacting.

Ways to raise the banks include the regulation practices from this course, such as breathing, orienting, and touch, and the capacity-building work with breath and physiology. Each time you notice activation and respond to it rather than being run by it, you also strengthen your ability to do so in the future.

You are not only your nervous system

Treating the nervous system as something you relate to, rather than as all of you, can help. It is an amazing system that is very much part of you, and it gives you information about the world. Seeing it as a tool that has activated lets you see that there is also a wiser part of you that can receive that information. Many people find this brings a bit more freedom.

When the banks flood or the river freezes

No matter how high the banks, there will still be times when the river floods. That is part of being human, and it does not mean the work is failing. There is also another response. When the water is too much, the system may freeze the river so it cannot flow at all. This can feel like numbness, fog, or distance, and it can show up even in the middle of a very hard moment. It is a form of protection, and it is not meant to be a place to stay for long. A later segment looks at how to thaw it gently.