Acceptance and the Nervous System
Reflection
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The practice
This practice uses the name or animal you chose in the previous segment, or the phrase "my nervous system" if you prefer. Choose a recent time of mild activation, something around a one to five and nothing dramatic or traumatic, or simply work with what is present now.
- Sit comfortably with your spine upright. This posture tells your body that you do not need to be defensive right now
- Close your eyes, settle, and notice your breathing and your activation level
- Recall the recent experience with enough detail that some activation arises
- Notice the physical signs, such as tightness in the chest, a clenched jaw, a racing mind, or tension in the belly
- Name what is happening, using the name you chose. For example: "I notice you are on high alert right now."
- Offer something short and kind, such as "I have got you. We are okay right now." What matters most is the intention behind the words, which is care, compassion, and presence
- Stay for a few breaths and notice any shift, without requiring one
This practice can be short. It can fit into a moment while driving or at your desk.
Acceptance cannot be faked
The nervous system responds to intention more than to words. If the kindness is forced, or if the real feeling is "please stop," the shift may not come. The aim is a genuine willingness to be with the sensation as a companion, for as long as it needs to be there.
There is a paradox here. A shift often follows real acceptance, and yet staying until a shift happens turns the practice into a demand. Try to notice your stance, open up as much as you can, and let the shift come in its own time, when your system feels ready and safe.
If it feels hard
For some people, being kind to their own activation feels unfamiliar or even uncomfortable, especially in seasons when they have been hard on themselves. If so, you can practice with the other segments first. A warm tone toward an animal or a child may feel easier to reach, and you can carry it over later.
When it fits
- When you get cut off in traffic and feel your body jump
- Quietly in a meeting or service when something stirs you up
- Before bed, if your system is still buzzing from the day
- After a conversation that left you shaken